December 21, 2012
While checking out at the grocery store the other day I experienced something new and refreshing. See, I have to put on my battle gear each time, in an effort to fight off all the negativity I tend to receive being the mom of 5 kids, and a homeschooler at that. What a rebel I am!! I am asked, every single time, one or more of the following questions; "Wow- is this a months worth of groceries?", "You have HOW many kids?", "You know how to stop that don't you?", "Gosh, you could use this receipt to start a fire!" The list goes on...and on. It is extremely uncomfortable for me most times. So to my absolute surprise, after the usual conversation about how long my groceries will last, how many it will feed etc, the nice young girl at the check out said to me, "Wow-you must really love being a mom!". After a moment of being completely stunned, I responded, "Well, yes, I do- I really do."
I have been pondering this since it happened. Why is it that I tend to be afraid to say that I am a mom of five, or that I stay home with my children, homeschool them and actually enjoy having them here with me? Why do i absolutely cringe upon stating that we are open to more children if God sees fit to give us more? Truly, my family is small compared to many women I know. The girl at the check out got me really thinking about how much I truly do love being a mom. Mothering is the most heart-wrenching and heart warming thing, all at the same time. I never knew I'd feel the things I feel. I never knew how much love I could feel for another human being. I never knew how hard it would be. It's the hardest job I have ever done, and it certainly feels anything but rewarding at times-many times! While there are times when I think things like, I can't do it anymore, I'm not capable, these blessings are going to kill me!, When I feel I am at my wits end, I am also pierced by my children's beauty; both outward and inner. I am struck by their beautiful eyes that are so deep, their bright smiles that light up a room. I am in awe of the sweetness of a toddlers kissable cheeks, or their hand in mine. I am touched by moments like watching my children do their favorite things; skating, dancing, riding horses, and moments like watching my child walk across the stage to received her diploma. These moments bring me back to the reality of how much I treasure being a mom and what a blessing this vocation is.
My daughters have brought so much joy. They are an incredible blessing. God created me to be their mom and Yes- I do love it!
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord~ Psalm 127:3