Things That Seem Insignificant

 I began this post last spring, in the midst of a rough week when the whole family had a terrible respiratory virus. I have since forgotten that I started the post. It's interesting that I came across it today, as I just watched Mom's Night Out last night. Boy could I relate to the main character, who felt overwhelmed by her life as a mom and saddened by realizing her dream of being a mother wasn't exactly what she thought it would be. I completely commiserated with her on so many levels. I laughed and I cried because I knew exactly how she felt. The huge message in the movie, which all moms need to hear, is that our job is IMPORTANT!! God created us for this purpose.

 I do believe everything we do for our children, our husbands and our homes means something to God; something bigger than we can imagine! It's just hard to stay focused on that at times...

 With that, here are my thoughts from the midst of our sick week in April...

 Sometimes I get so caught up in the seemingly insignificant tasks of my day and start to wonder, "is this it?" The mundane jobs of a mother, the time consuming tasks that appear pointless can make a mom to wonder. This week as my family has been sick, I keep finding myself feeling down and asking God, "is THIS all you created me for? Is this all my mind will ever be used for?" I seek these answers as I spend my days dosing medicine every 4 hours, refilling juice glasses, making soup, cleaning up dirty tissues, taking temperatures, making sure everyone is receiving enough fluid intake-and monitoring the output as well (fun!), keeping an eye out for dehydration. I wonder these things when my 3 year old finally feels better and is back to being little miss sunshine in the wee hours, when I have barely had any sleep. Of course I am relieved she feels better, but could we sleep a little?! Where did she find her energy?! I keep find myself singing the Steven Curtis Chapman song, More to This Life.

"There's more to this life than living and dying, more than just trying to make it through the day..."

 A few verses end with the words, "life just goes on." That is the way it feels sometimes, doesn't it? Life just goes on. Yet, if I keep singing I will be reminded,

 "So where do we start to find every part of what makes this life complete? 

If we turn our eyes to Jesus we'll find life's true beginning is there at the cross where He died." 

 So, even though I wonder what else I can do in THIS life, I am reminded it's about Eternity. My vocation as a mother is about far more than all these seemingly insignificant tasks, which are actually pretty important to God. It's about raising our children for Eternity. And that's a pretty significant vocation. When I do ask God these questions He reminds me, "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these, you did for me." (Matthew 25:40) That includes wiping little noses!

 Saint Martin de Porres always comes to mind when I struggle with the mundane. He joyfully completed any menial task he could within his Dominican monastery. He was known as "The Saint of the Broom". I often wish I could go about my tasks more joyfully like he did.

 I know God did in fact create me for other things, it's just that caring for my children is my first and most important order of business.

 Before I close I want to say that I am keenly aware of the fact that while I complain about my day-to-day responsibilities, there are mamas out there who would do anything to have their child on this earth still, to do anything for, as well as women who would give anything just to be able to have a child. I know a few and I always remember them when I begin to complain. And I try to embrace the task with a little more gratitude. And mamas, I hold you in my heart and I pray for you.

 Mamas, let's remember that our job is important to God, the One who made us Moms! May we, by His grace, see the significance in all we do for our families.

God bless,
Jen

Allowing God to Order My Days

I tend to get-as my husband would say- "wrapped around the axle" about all that I try to accomplish. I am a worker bee. I like to get things done. I feel a sense of purpose when I have completed a task. I LOVE crossing things off my "to do" list! I believe I have inherited this trait from my hard working mom. She was always busy with many tasks. She has 6 children and 17 grandchildren (plus great-grandchildren!) and we have all kept her busy! She was also very active in the community and our church growing up. She used to joke that she had lists for her lists. I completely understand this as I have many lists, usually sorted by topic, or "To Do Now", "To Do Soon", and "To Do ASAP". I know, it's a bit over the top, right?! But it's who I am.

I find it difficult to maintain balance between homemaking tasks, homeschooling tasks, keeping up with family and community etc. I tend to gravitate toward doing really well keeping up in one area but then neglecting the rest. We are either having an amazing school day with many projects going, while the laundry doesn't get done and/or I am late in making dinner. Or I am on task with the house, everything is in order but we aren't having that great of a school day.

I have found that I feel like my kids are interrupting what I need to accomplish! (Don't judge me too harshly!) Remember, I said I feel a need to accomplish things and motherhood usually does not allow for that!! Recently I came across the photo below, posted by Sweet Kisses and Dirty Dishes.

 

Well if that didn't put me in my place! This is actually something my husband has been trying to get me to understand for years. It seems to come so naturally for him. He doesn't understand why I get so wrapped up in trying to do so many things; why I won't just focus on mothering. Our children ARE my work. They need to come first. But there is the lingering question of, "But what about all the other things? I can't just NOT do lesson plans, or grade work and pull my portfolio together, or many of the other thousands of things that really do need attention at times."

So one day recently, in a moment of complete frustration about all I couldn't get done that day, I put it all on paper. (yes, my life is a spreadsheet!) I listed all the things I feel like I need to do, under the categories of Homemaker, Homeschooler, Daughter/Sister/Friend, etc etc. (and don't forget personal prayer time, which without I am not a very good mama!)  This was a very general list of the basics, not too detailed. I offered it up in my prayer time and said, "Lord, I know you gave me plenty of time in my day, but I am not managing it to the best of my abilities. I am not using my time very wisely. I feel completely overwhelmed by all I feel I need to get done, and nothing seems to be getting done because of it. So I give you my tasks and ask you to order my day. Show me and lead me in doing what YOU would have me to today." I cannot even express to you the freedom that came with giving it up, letting go and asking God to order my day. My days have been flowing more freely and without as much stress-on the days I do this! I find that I am getting things done in a balanced way and most importantly, feeling peace about what isn't getting accomplished. Tomorrow is another day!

Remember, I told you I claim no perfections! So please do not have an image of my days perfectly flowing while I have a peaceful, patient disposition. Life is still crazy busy and I am still overwhelmed, because there is a lot on my plate. However if I take the time to offer my day up to God it does work better.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

My grace is sufficient for you...2 Corinthians 12:9

Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him!" The Lord is good to those who depend on Him, to those who seek Him. Lamentations 3:23-25

With His Grace I will remember to seek Him first each day~
Gods Blessings,

Jen

Yes! I DO love being a mom!

December 21, 2012

 While checking out at the grocery store the other day I experienced something new and refreshing. See, I have to put on my battle gear each time, in an effort to fight off all the negativity I tend to receive being the mom of 5 kids, and a homeschooler at that. What a rebel I am!! I am asked, every single time, one or more of the following questions; "Wow- is this a months worth of groceries?", "You have HOW many kids?", "You know how to stop that don't you?", "Gosh, you could use this receipt to start a fire!" The list goes on...and on. It is extremely uncomfortable for me most times. So to my absolute surprise, after the usual conversation about how long my groceries will last, how many it will feed etc, the nice young girl at the check out said to me, "Wow-you must really love being a mom!". After a moment of being completely stunned, I responded, "Well, yes, I do- I really do."

 I have been pondering this since it happened. Why is it that I tend to be afraid to say that I am a mom of five, or that I stay home with my children, homeschool them and actually enjoy having them here with me?  Why do i absolutely cringe upon stating that we are open to more children if God sees fit to give us more? Truly, my family is small compared to many women I know. The girl at the check out got me really thinking about how much I truly do love being a mom. Mothering is the most heart-wrenching and heart warming thing, all at the same time. I never knew I'd feel the things I feel. I never knew how much love I could feel for another human being. I never knew how hard it would be. It's the hardest job I have ever done, and it certainly feels anything but rewarding at times-many times! While there are times when I think things like, I can't do it anymore, I'm not capable, these blessings are going to kill me!, When I feel I am at my wits end, I am also pierced by my children's beauty; both outward and inner. I am struck by their beautiful eyes that are so deep, their bright smiles that light up a room. I am in awe of the sweetness of a toddlers kissable cheeks, or their hand in mine. I am touched by moments like watching my children do their favorite things; skating, dancing, riding horses, and moments like watching my child walk across the stage to received her diploma. These moments bring me back to the reality of how much I treasure being a mom and what a blessing this vocation is.

 My daughters have brought so much joy. They are an incredible blessing. God created me to be their mom and Yes- I do love it!

 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord~ Psalm 127:3